The Art of Managing People - What Makes a Great Manager
One of the most difficult parts of being a manager is managing the different personalities on your team and supporting individual and collective growth. Managing people requires soft skills and emotional intelligence - but the true key lies in personalization.
Taking a personalized approach to People Management is similar to how marketers tailor specific messages to segments of their target audience. Personalization amplifies your soft skills and makes you more effective as a manager.
How to Personalize People Management
Remember names context
We all know the importance of remembering names - think of that as level one to People Maangement and level two is remembering context. Context reigns supreme when it comes to relationship building. When we say ‘context’ we mean the information that employees share with you about themselves that goes beyond their name.
We’re talking about someone mentioning that they hate seafood or even if they are allergic! Okay, naturally we understand the importance of being aware of allergies, but don’t underestimate the power of remembering someone’s likes and dislikes. The seemingly small details are building block opportunities to demonstrate that you care, and make your interactions even better.
They say “a person's name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language,” but remembering context is a love language.
Things managers should know about their employees:
Remember important dates (work-anniversaries, birthdays, etc.)
Someone recently shared with us how moved she was when her boss remembered it had been a year since her mother had passed. She said she didn’t expect people to remember and she couldn’t believe her boss did.
When it comes to building and maintaining relationships with your direct reports, it is about showing up in a meaningful way.
What Makes Great Managers - Care Instructions
Being able to not just know, but apply context is the secret to what makes managers great. This tip is one that people don’t talk about enough - it’s what we call care instructions.
You’ve probably seen the little paper that comes with a plant that has its care instructions.
Although we know that plants need water and sunlight, the degree to which they need it depends on the type of plant. Yup - plants, like people, are unique and require different care to survive and thrive. As a manager, it is critical that you know what the individuals you manage need.
Everyone has care instructions. It’s our preferences that separate us from others and are shaped by our unique experiences and background.
Many things impact how someone is (their personality, their home life, culture, and more) which is why although templates are great, they aren’t optimal when it comes to people.
Being mindful of one’s care instructions allows us to optimize the pros, while minimizing the cons, in collaboration and relationship building. Care instructions refer to how people work best, how they communicate best, how they learn best, etc.
As a manager, this insight helps you show up better for your team and support them in showing up as their best selves.
In the workplace, this is crucial not only for individual and team growth, but morale as well. Cultivating a good team culture is similar to a gardener cultivating a healthy environment for their plants to thrive.
Limitations to People Management
Self-awareness (or lack of)
Managers may not be aware of their own care instructions and these blindspots can interfere with their ability to manage others. Similarly, their direct reports may lack the self-awareness to communicate their needs and preferences effectively. This is why managers need emotional intelligence to understand the non-verbal cues that provide insight into managing people.
Someone may say they prefer direct communication but when you do it you can tell they get upset with you - adjust accordingly.
It doesn’t mean they are liars it just means that it is hard for people to objectively judge themselves - they’re called blind spots for a reason.
Maybe they genuinely don’t know their communication style or haven’t given it much thought, but prompting them is a good way to start.
Language
It’s important to be clear with language - this means not only hearing the words being said but understanding what the speaker actually means by them.
For example, someone’s idea of ‘direct’ communication may be different than yours. This is why it’s important to make a habit of defining words that are subjective (quick, short, busy, etc).
Often misunderstandings are due to not differences in opinion but differences in perception of what words mean. Two people can use the same words and have completely different meanings, and then get frustrated when there are misunderstandings. This cycle can continue as long as it takes until this one term gets cleared up - which only happens when it is noticed. When this goes unnoticed, people may wrongly blame the other person’s assumed shortcomings, when in reality the misunderstanding is rooted in something so basic that it is overlooked.
Next time you ask someone to have a ‘short’ meeting or have something done ‘soon’ - don’t. Do make sure you are specific and elaborate. Less is not always more and when you are managing people it’s important to avoid falling into the trap of assuming people understand what you mean.
To avoid these limitations
Use context. When you are deciding if an email had a positive or negative tone, don’t rely solely on the text. Think about how this person generally communicates and their personality - context clues are essential to effectively managing people.
Other Relationship Building Tips for Managers
Now that you understand the power of personalization you can magnify these relationship-building tips for your team.
Managing Yourself First
In order to effectively manage others, you first need to manage yourself. Being able to manage your own emotions and be mindful of what shapes your perspective is the crucial context that impacts your relationships. Be honest with yourself and explore your emotions with curiosity instead of judgment. There is no shame in the game of personal growth, and self-awareness is the first step.
What are your care instructions?
How can you teach others how to best grow with you?
Building Trust
Be honest
Some of you are probably reading this saying “Pffff, of course I’m honest,” as you skip to the next paragraph, but wait! It’s important to keep in mind that being honest isn’t always an intentional decision and isn’t as straightforward as it seems.
A big part of honesty is perceived credibility - meaning it isn’t only about what you say but what you do. Make sure your words are aligned with your actions or your team may question your reliability.
Be vulnerable
There is a big misconception that being vulnerable is a weakness that has no place in leadership roles - however that is not the case. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean divulging your secrets it means letting your humanity show. It is okay to share with others to the degree you are both comfortable with. Sometimes we are so focused on keeping it together that we forget our mask can be taken off - and that it’s okay to do so, even in leadership.
When others are open it makes others feel comfortable to also be open and a big part of leadership is exemplifying the behavior you want from your team. Being vulnerable gives your team permission to do the same and bring their whole selves to work.
Be consistent and manage your emotions
Control your emotions, don’t let them control you. Life happens and it’s important to honor your feelings and be authentic to yourself. However, it is not okay to let your emotions define how you treat your team.
Being Considerate
Of others’ time
Of who is with you
How your words may affect them
Read the room
Checking-in regularly
Consistency is key - we talk a lot about the importance of 1:1s in connecting people and driving high performance and satisfaction.
Check-ins keep people in tune with one another and are a great opportunity to update those always evolving care instructions!
Managers invest in tools that aid productivity, organization, and more, yet overlook the importance of soft skills in managing their teams. Relationships are vital to personal happiness, wellbeing, and success - which is why managers must prioritize their relationships with direct reports.
The pandemic and working remote reminded us of the importance of connections, and it’s time managers realize and prioritize the social aspect of their team’s health.
The future of work is social and in order for businesses to succeed they must facilitate a connected workplace where their people can grow and realize their potential.
Learn more about how the ConnectUs 1:1 Meeting Tool simplifies People Management so leaders can lead with ease.